I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
