You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Randomize
