Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
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