I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
