Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
I just spread your mom's ashes with my new girlfriend. I wouldve waited for you to fly home but she was uncomfortable in the house with her remains there. I'll mail you the urn since u handpainted it.
YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND ALREADY!?! WTF WE JUST HAD HER FUNERAL 3 WEEKS AGO!!!!!!!!!!!!
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
