i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Randomize
