I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Randomize
