Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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