I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Randomize
