So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Randomize
