and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
