i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
