There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
You are a booty call, not a friend.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Randomize
