i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Randomize
