We need to rekindle our bromance
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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