well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Randomize
