I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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