in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
