Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
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