what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
thus making me awesome and them whores
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
