Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
