So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Randomize
