I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
