My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Randomize
