i think my tv is drunk
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize