just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
