3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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