I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
