everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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