But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Randomize
