Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
