found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
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