i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
