Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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