Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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