I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
