im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
