If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
