i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Randomize
