btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
