forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
