I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
