Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
