last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Randomize
