Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Randomize
