your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
