Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
He shit in the fireplace
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
Randomize
