apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Randomize
