she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
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