If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
