whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
