if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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