Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
