I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
