He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Randomize
