Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
