i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
I love you. Go after that dick
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